Cocktails and Coaching

Have you ever wondered how some people just seem to have a knack of being able to persuade you to do something? (like stay for just one more drink!!!)…   If you want to either learn how to influence and persuade people or maybe to just be more aware of people trying to influence you, then keep reading as there are 4 styles you need to be aware of. I've split this blog into 4 parts so that I can keep to my usual short and hopefully sweet style!  This is part one with the next three to follow.. In each part I'll share the style and then bring it to life for you… I've given the same example for each one to show that you really can use any of the 4 styles depending on who you're trying to influence… I've used an example that I'm faced with day in, day out in my job but you really can spin it for absolutely anything. Persuading This type of influencing is called persuading …  This is a good one to use when you are seen as the expert and you have...

Are you the type of person who gets on a plane and keeps your head down? Or are you the type of person who strikes up a conversation with the person sat next to you? For those who know me, you'll know that I'm definitely the kind to strike up a conversation! And I'm glad to say I did this just a few weeks ago. Picture this - I'm sat there reading my 'TED talks' book (which I highly recommend by Chris Anderson) and the person sat next to me asks me if I'm doing a talk? 'Yes' I say, 'I'm talking to 60 people at a Women In Tech Sales event next week' to which her response was 'Amazing… I'm a professional speaker'! Now, there was no way I could pass up this opportunity so I asked her for all her top tips and was soon sat there scribbling them all down in my book. Imagine how happy I was when a week later I did my presentation, having weaved in ALL of her top tips, and received some fantastic feedback. So let m...

If you want to know how to build a strong team then you could go on a course for a few days, you could read a 300 page book or… You could just take the advice from my eight-year-old daughter! The other morning I told her that I had a team meeting and I was thinking about what to do in it. ‘ What do you want to get from the meeting? ’ she said (just the question alone surprised me if I’m honest, bearing in mind she’s 8!) ‘ I want my team to figure out how they can work really well together ’ I said. Her instant response was ‘ Communicate more! ’ So I told her ‘ I also want everybody to say what a great job my team is doing ’ her response… ‘ Believe in yourselves ’ At that point I thought I’d pass her a pen and paper and ask her to write down her top tips… She thought 5 points would be good so here they are! 1. Communicate more 2. Believe in yourselves 3. Share your worries 4. Tell someone when you need help 5. Decide together I’m obviously bias but I think that’s prett...

I have a moto in life with my friends which is #nojudging and I absolutely love it and mean it!! I work full time, have 2 cheeky girls and a husband to look after!! I have got a good job, do a volunteer role plus I write the odd blog when I can! So sometimes people say to me 'how do you do it all?' … Of course it's always quite nice to hear that (I am human after all) but I'm also really conscious that I don't want to put an image out there that other people judge themselves against, there is enough pressure out there without me adding to it! I was recently talking to someone who's been offered a new job and they started doubting themself… 'Would they actually be able to do the job?' , 'Should they be working full time when they have a young child?' , ' What if it wasn't the right role for them?' … when I told them that I've had, and have similar feelings I was shocked to see that they were actually surprised to hear me...

If you're anything like me, you start January thinking ' how can this year be 'my year' ', you may want to aim for a promotion , be seen as a high performer or view this year as your 'career accelerator year'. I believe that to feel like you're achieving great things you need to be really clear on your goals and have clear objectives . If you're a people manager you'll also probably see January as the month to nail everyone's objectives and have a plan for the whole team. You can use this tool to write your own work objectives, help your team write theirs or plan how you're going to achieve your career goals. The idea is to split your objectives or goals into the following 3 areas: Objective Strategy Tactics The problem with just writing an objective and no more is that sometimes it can be so big that you can't actually measure if you're on track and you don't know what steps you need to take to achi...

After spending 11 years at the same company. I recently took the huge decision to leave and join Adobe… Adobe want to be known as a company 'who conducts good interviews' but are 'difficult to get through' and I have to say that I loved their interview process…  Not sure what that says about me!!! I had 5 interviews over the space of a month and it's led me to want to share  my   top 2 interview tips. For me there were 2 things that I spent time prepping for and I believe they could give you the edge when you're preparing for your next interview… 1.        Think about how you want to come across 2.        Plan questions that you want to ask 1.        How do you want to come across? A lot of people focus on what questions they think they're likely to be asked and therefore how to respond. But when you really think about it,  what are the odds of you acc...

Recently I phoned a colleague to ask one small question... And before I knew it we were on the phone for 90 minutes! It's amazing how powerful it can be to just ask someone (if really care about the answer) "How are you?" …. One thing that came out of this conversation (and many others I've had over the years), is how much time and effort we tend to put into work and how we want to be thought of as a high performer, but there are also so many other elements in our lives that we perhaps don't focus on… If you put all your effort into just one aspect of your life and something outside of your control massively impacts it then you could be left feeling empty. Is it better therefore to invest your time into a number of different areas of your life, so that if one element is impacted, it's not the end of the world as you have other areas to prop you up? So what are the different areas? The way I look at it is through these 8 areas, the first 5 are quit...

I was on my first panel at an event recently and I was asked "What advice would you give your younger self?"   It really made me think… At first I interpreted it as - what do I wish I'd done differently . But I am a firm believer about not having regrets and I have the positive mindset that everything happens for a reason.   So I then switched the question in my head to "What advice was I once given that I really listened to"   I often seek advice from other people and I soak up lots of different perspectives on how to do things… But the one piece of advice I was given many years ago that I love was "Only follow advice that is true to you, and feels right to you"   The reason I loved this advice is because I'm quite an open person, so it's really important to me that people don't question whether they can trust me or if I'm genuine or not. So if I follow other people's advice it's really important that it's a...

Imagine you had a problem that you wanted to solve , change or focus on, and I told you that after answering just 5 or 6 questions you could walk away with a clear action plan having committed to what you would do today, to make a difference!   Well, today I wanted to bring to life the GROW model which does exactly that… Unfortunately I can't claim it as my own! But I do use it all the time… It's a great tool to help shape the conversations that you have with your team or mentees. Or you can use it to help figure stuff out for yourself…   One of my team saw these questioned and joked that it forms the basis of every conversation they have with me! (You're welcome!!!!) But I love the idea that you can go from being really unclear about something, and by just answering a few questions suddenly you're really clear about what you need to do and how to do it!   So, step one, is think of something you're not happy with or want to change or solve… This co...

Have you ever stopped and thought about all the things you want to do, will do, could do but for some reason you just don't do it today… You think ' I'll do it next week, next year, one day '… Especially if you're thinking about how you want to develop , what you want to achieve in life or how you want to make a difference …   Last week I was lucky enough to hear from Nancie Shackleton. She spoke for about 45 minutes and is one of the most inspiring people I've ever seen… She's Assistant Chief Officer for Lincolnshire Police and she shared her personal journey and gave loads of tips and advice…  One that absolutely stuck with me was the concept of laying your life out in decades and thinking of it as a week …   ie When you're aged 0-10 that's Monday 10-20 is Tuesday 20-30 is Wednesday 30-40 is Thursday 40-50 is Friday 50-60 is Saturday And 60-70 is Sunday..   My grandma lived until she was 104 so potentially I coul...

So going with the cocktail theme today rather than coaching, I thought I'd let you know why  you have to try a Porn Star Martini next time you're out… It's not a well known one but it's one of my favourites… It's served with a passion fruit so counts as one of your five a day!! It's also served with a shot of Prosecco. You can either drink as a shot, sip alternatively or pour into the cocktail (what's not to like?) You've got to love the name… 'Porn Star Martini'!! I'm yet to meet someone who doesn't like it. It's a 'staple' cocktail so often included in 241 offers. It's referred to as classy and refined… Just like me I hear you say!! It's a conversation starter - it's one of those drinks that people just feel compelled to stop you and ask 'what's that?' It comes in two glasses (with the Prosecco on the side) so it's a bargain with technically...

Have you ever wondered how some people just seem to have a knack of being able to persuade you to do something? (like stay for  just  one more drink!!!)…   If you want to either learn how to influence and persuade people or maybe to just be more aware of people trying to influence you, then keep reading as there are 4 styles you need to be aware of. I've split this blog into 4 parts so that I can keep to my usual short and hopefully sweet style! And this is the final instalment! Attracting This type of influencing is called Attracting …  This one is best used when the other person trusts you, you share some common views and they are looking for direction. There are just two steps for this one. Find a Common Ground Share a Vision So firstly, find a common ground , think about  ideas , values or beliefs that you share and bring them to life... And then find a way to share a vision , paint a picture of the future , talk about ...

Have you ever wondered how some people just seem to have a knack of being able to persuade you to do something? (like stay for  just  one more drink!!!)…   If you want to either learn how to influence and persuade people or maybe to just be more aware of people trying to influence you, then keep reading as there are 4 styles you need to be aware of. I've split this blog into 4 parts so that I can keep to my usual short and hopefully sweet style!  This is part three with one more to follow. Asserting This type of influencing is called  Asserting … This is best when you both have something to gain or lose. You have a legitimate need that must be met, plus you have some control over an incentive or pressure in exchange. This one has three steps State your expectations Evaluate Use an incentive / pressure State your expectation  by making clear what your  need ,  demand , or  requirement  is. Evaluate by ...

The My posts so far have concentrated on Coaching so I thought it was about time I did one on Cocktails! So here are my top 10 cocktails and why… (also pretty much turned into my top 10 holidays too!!) 10  June bug  One of the first cocktails I ever tried at TGI Fridays many, many years ago… 9 Chilli Martini At Dirty Martinis in Covent Garden... A bit of a random one but a great little bar so had to include!! 8  Managers Happy hour (ie free) Rum Punch  With my husband on honeymoon in Thailand. 7  Porn star Martini Discovered this doing a cocktail making class at my friend's hen do in Zabranos, Soho - lovely cocktail... 6  Piña collada con on poco de ron (with a little rum)  Visiting my best friend in the Dominican Republic, as it's only a little rum, anytime after midday is acceptable!! 5 Oreo Milkshake I can't remember the name of this one, where I was or when I had it but it consisted of vanilla ice cream, Ore...