Cocktails and Coaching

Do you ever find yourself getting frustrated with what's going on around you? Perhaps there are some big changes happening at work, or maybe there are things that you're not happy about at home. I often talk to people about the fact that you can't change or control what other people do, you can only change and control your own actions but this takes it one step further. It's called your circle of influence. Think of something you're not happy about and want to focus on. Then draw a large circle and inside that circle draw another smaller circle in the middle. The inner circle represents your circle of influence - in here, write down all the things that are frustrating you about the situation that you can influence. Then, put all the things that are frustrating you that you can't influence in the outer circle, in other words, they're outside your circle of influence . You can then see really clearly what you can and can't co

People often point out that I don't seem to get stressed. And it's true… it could be due to the fact that I'm a very positive person or that it's just in my nature to stay calm, however I'm currently reading the book ' The Chimp Paradox ' and I now believe I don't get stressed because I'm happy making decisions. One of the items in the book is about the natural instinct that we all have, which is; when we are faced with an uncomfortable situation or decision we either Fight , Flight or Freeze . For example, if we're asked to do something that stretches us out of our comfort zone (see my blog Oh Pants! ) a lot of people will say no which is the ' flight '. Or you disagree with what someone is saying and you end up having an argument with them which is the ' fight '. Or you're put on the spot and you completely forget what you wanted to say which is the ' freeze '. So, I've heard of fight, flight or freeze like m