Cocktails and Coaching

Do you ever find yourself getting frustrated with what's going on around you? Perhaps there are some big changes happening at work, or maybe there are things that you're not happy about at home. I often talk to people about the fact that you can't change or control what other people do, you can only change and control your own actions but this takes it one step further. It's called your circle of influence. Think of something you're not happy about and want to focus on. Then draw a large circle and inside that circle draw another smaller circle in the middle. The inner circle represents your circle of influence - in here, write down all the things that are frustrating you about the situation that you can influence. Then, put all the things that are frustrating you that you can't influence in the outer circle, in other words, they're outside your circle of influence . You can then see really clearly what you can and can't co

People often point out that I don't seem to get stressed. And it's true… it could be due to the fact that I'm a very positive person or that it's just in my nature to stay calm, however I'm currently reading the book ' The Chimp Paradox ' and I now believe I don't get stressed because I'm happy making decisions. One of the items in the book is about the natural instinct that we all have, which is; when we are faced with an uncomfortable situation or decision we either Fight , Flight or Freeze . For example, if we're asked to do something that stretches us out of our comfort zone (see my blog Oh Pants! ) a lot of people will say no which is the ' flight '. Or you disagree with what someone is saying and you end up having an argument with them which is the ' fight '. Or you're put on the spot and you completely forget what you wanted to say which is the ' freeze '. So, I've heard of fight, flight or freeze like m

It's been years since I drank a Woo Woo but I have to say it's an old favourite of mine! It's a cocktail made simply of vodka, peach schnapps and cranberry juice (I personally recommend adding a squeeze of fresh lime too). I think it's a pretty well known cocktail in the UK, however my US colleagues gave me some pretty strange looks when I started talking about woo woos recently so perhaps it's not a universal cocktail (or maybe they just think I'm just a strange (but brilliant) brit!!)- but I'd recommend you try it wherever you live!.... This week I did a 'Strenghts Finder' exercise and one of my own personal strenghts is 'Woo'.... The definition being ' loves the challenge of meeting new people and winning them over. Derives satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection with someone .' And it's true - I love networking, meeting new people, building relationships and 'winning people over'. So for anyone

Have you ever asked someone a question and as soon as you've asked it, you're thinking of a follow up question? Or you start thinking about your own experiences of what they're talking about? Or worse still you start judging them?!.... Take a look at my blog#nojudging …. If you're human! You'll have answered yes to at least one of the above, if not all of them - and this is absolutely normal. But. Are you having a valuable conversation and both getting the most out of it? I've heard of active listening before but I was recently on a course where I had to really do it, and trust me, it was exhausting! The key with active listening is to: Properly listen! Switch off your inner voice Just be in the moment of the conversation Don't let yourself get distracted Truly  listen to what the other person is saying Listen to the phrases they're using And tune into how they're felling when they talk. It's har

I have a moto in life with my friends which is #nojudging and I absolutely love it and mean it!! I work full time, have 2 cheeky girls and a husband to look after!! I have got a good job, do a volunteer role plus I write the odd blog when I can! So sometimes people say to me 'how do you do it all?' … Of course it's always quite nice to hear that (I am human after all) but I'm also really conscious that I don't want to put an image out there that other people judge themselves against, there is enough pressure out there without me adding to it! I was recently talking to someone who's been offered a new job and they started doubting themself… 'Would they actually be able to do the job?' , 'Should they be working full time when they have a young child?' , ' What if it wasn't the right role for them?' … when I told them that I've had, and have similar feelings I was shocked to see that they were actually surprised to hear me

If you're anything like me, you start January thinking ' how can this year be 'my year' ', you may want to aim for a promotion , be seen as a high performer or view this year as your 'career accelerator year'. I believe that to feel like you're achieving great things you need to be really clear on your goals and have clear objectives . If you're a people manager you'll also probably see January as the month to nail everyone's objectives and have a plan for the whole team. You can use this tool to write your own work objectives, help your team write theirs or plan how you're going to achieve your career goals. The idea is to split your objectives or goals into the following 3 areas: Objective Strategy Tactics The problem with just writing an objective and no more is that sometimes it can be so big that you can't actually measure if you're on track and you don't know what steps you need to take to achi