Cocktails and Coaching

After spending 11 years at the same company. I recently took the huge decision to leave and join Adobe… Adobe want to be known as a company 'who conducts good interviews' but are 'difficult to get through' and I have to say that I loved their interview process…  Not sure what that says about me!!! I had 5 interviews over the space of a month and it's led me to want to share  my   top 2 interview tips. For me there were 2 things that I spent time prepping for and I believe they could give you the edge when you're preparing for your next interview… 1.        Think about how you want to come across 2.        Plan questions that you want to ask 1.        How do you want to come across? A lot of people focus on what questions they think they're likely to be asked and therefore how to respond. But when you really think about it,  what are the odds of you accurately guessing any of the questions you'll be asked?! Instead, think ab

Recently I phoned a colleague to ask one small question... And before I knew it we were on the phone for 90 minutes! It's amazing how powerful it can be to just ask someone (if really care about the answer) "How are you?" …. One thing that came out of this conversation (and many others I've had over the years), is how much time and effort we tend to put into work and how we want to be thought of as a high performer, but there are also so many other elements in our lives that we perhaps don't focus on… If you put all your effort into just one aspect of your life and something outside of your control massively impacts it then you could be left feeling empty. Is it better therefore to invest your time into a number of different areas of your life, so that if one element is impacted, it's not the end of the world as you have other areas to prop you up? So what are the different areas? The way I look at it is through these 8 areas, the first 5 are quit

I was on my first panel at an event recently and I was asked "What advice would you give your younger self?"   It really made me think… At first I interpreted it as - what do I wish I'd done differently . But I am a firm believer about not having regrets and I have the positive mindset that everything happens for a reason.   So I then switched the question in my head to "What advice was I once given that I really listened to"   I often seek advice from other people and I soak up lots of different perspectives on how to do things… But the one piece of advice I was given many years ago that I love was "Only follow advice that is true to you, and feels right to you"   The reason I loved this advice is because I'm quite an open person, so it's really important to me that people don't question whether they can trust me or if I'm genuine or not. So if I follow other people's advice it's really important that it's a

Imagine you had a problem that you wanted to solve , change or focus on, and I told you that after answering just 5 or 6 questions you could walk away with a clear action plan having committed to what you would do today, to make a difference!   Well, today I wanted to bring to life the GROW model which does exactly that… Unfortunately I can't claim it as my own! But I do use it all the time… It's a great tool to help shape the conversations that you have with your team or mentees. Or you can use it to help figure stuff out for yourself…   One of my team saw these questioned and joked that it forms the basis of every conversation they have with me! (You're welcome!!!!) But I love the idea that you can go from being really unclear about something, and by just answering a few questions suddenly you're really clear about what you need to do and how to do it!   So, step one, is think of something you're not happy with or want to change or solve… This co

Have you ever wanted to make a  difference  and  change  something? But just found it incredibly hard? Often, we think that we just need to build  awareness  and that will do the trick, but is awareness really enough? I'm the Chair of the Women's Network at O2 and I want to play my part in making O2 a more inclusive place, where people's talents and contribution are recognised and celebrated, regardless of gender. Enabling people to progress and succeed at work. Until now, much of my approach has focused on raising awareness of the challenges facing women in the workplace – in the hope that by highlighting the issues, we’d get closer to achieving real change. But then I heard an analogy from Toby Mildon at the BBC recently about how to make real change happen – either on a personal level or more broadly and it got me thinking…   Sometimes you can be  aware  that you are overweight. You're  aware  why you should lose weight. And you're  aware  how to los

If you want to develop yourself, all you need to do is follow these RULES .   R eceptive U nderstand L earn E nd game S teps   Receptive - If you believe you're perfect, it's really hard to listen to advice and you'll have no motivation to develop yourself. You need to be receptive and open to other peoples opinions and advice and the concept of improving yourself.   Understand - Having self awareness and the ability to understand where you need to grow and develop is key. Only if you understand your strengths and weaknesses can you grow as an individual.   Learn - Once you understand what area you want to develop, you can then learn about that area. Learning can take many guises… From formal classroom courses, being mentored and coached, to reading books and blogs and more…   End Game - What differences do you actually want to see in both the short term and long term? What would you like to see in a week? And what's your end

How often do you really put yourself out there? Take a risk? Step outside your comfort zone?   A lot of us are quite happy with doing what we always do and not really challenging ourselves, because one of the strongest emotions that drives us is fear …   You can think of your comfort zone as 3 circles each within each other…   The first, inner circle is your comfort zone , just outside that is your stretch zone and outside of that you have your panic zone .   ' They say ' that the fear of public speaking is a fear greater than death for most people, so'll I'll use that as an example…   Comfort Zone When having a one to one conversation most of us are sat quite comfortably in the inner circle, being our comfort zone.   Stretch Zone If we then have to lead a discussion in, say, a team meeting with a wider audience then for some, this pushes us slightly into the next circle being our stretch zone.   Panic Zone And finally, if we're as

Have you ever stopped and thought about all the things you want to do, will do, could do but for some reason you just don't do it today… You think ' I'll do it next week, next year, one day '… Especially if you're thinking about how you want to develop , what you want to achieve in life or how you want to make a difference …   Last week I was lucky enough to hear from Nancie Shackleton. She spoke for about 45 minutes and is one of the most inspiring people I've ever seen… She's Assistant Chief Officer for Lincolnshire Police and she shared her personal journey and gave loads of tips and advice…  One that absolutely stuck with me was the concept of laying your life out in decades and thinking of it as a week …   ie When you're aged 0-10 that's Monday 10-20 is Tuesday 20-30 is Wednesday 30-40 is Thursday 40-50 is Friday 50-60 is Saturday And 60-70 is Sunday..   My grandma lived until she was 104 so potentially I coul

A coach talks with you A mentor talks to you A sponsor talks about you There are some days when I absolutely love my job and today was one of those days! I spent the day hearing from 3 inspirational speakers (more about them in future blogs!) and then had an evening at a mentoring event run by TLA WomenInTech… When I had my first mentee ask me to mentor them 4 years ago I didn't know why they'd asked me or what value I would add to them. Little did I know, just a few years later how much I'd love mentoring and that I'd actually have a blog called 'Cocktails and Coaching'!! So why do I do it? For me, 4 years ago, it really helped me develop my own self awareness. I always just thought I was lucky at work. So when I had to stop, think and explain why I do certain things, say certain things and act in a particular way it helped me realise my own strengths and maybe I wasn't just lucky! And now, just a few years later, the energy I get

So going with the cocktail theme today rather than coaching, I thought I'd let you know why  you have to try a Porn Star Martini next time you're out… It's not a well known one but it's one of my favourites… It's served with a passion fruit so counts as one of your five a day!! It's also served with a shot of Prosecco. You can either drink as a shot, sip alternatively or pour into the cocktail (what's not to like?) You've got to love the name… 'Porn Star Martini'!! I'm yet to meet someone who doesn't like it. It's a 'staple' cocktail so often included in 241 offers. It's referred to as classy and refined… Just like me I hear you say!! It's a conversation starter - it's one of those drinks that people just feel compelled to stop you and ask 'what's that?' It comes in two glasses (with the Prosecco on the side) so it's a bargain with technically

Have you ever wondered how some people just seem to have a knack of being able to persuade you to do something? (like stay for  just  one more drink!!!)…   If you want to either learn how to influence and persuade people or maybe to just be more aware of people trying to influence you, then keep reading as there are 4 styles you need to be aware of. I've split this blog into 4 parts so that I can keep to my usual short and hopefully sweet style! And this is the final instalment! Attracting This type of influencing is called Attracting …  This one is best used when the other person trusts you, you share some common views and they are looking for direction. There are just two steps for this one. Find a Common Ground Share a Vision So firstly, find a common ground , think about  ideas , values or beliefs that you share and bring them to life... And then find a way to share a vision , paint a picture of the future , talk about how optimistic the futur

Have you ever wondered how some people just seem to have a knack of being able to persuade you to do something? (like stay for  just  one more drink!!!)…   If you want to either learn how to influence and persuade people or maybe to just be more aware of people trying to influence you, then keep reading as there are 4 styles you need to be aware of. I've split this blog into 4 parts so that I can keep to my usual short and hopefully sweet style!  This is part three with one more to follow. Asserting This type of influencing is called  Asserting … This is best when you both have something to gain or lose. You have a legitimate need that must be met, plus you have some control over an incentive or pressure in exchange. This one has three steps State your expectations Evaluate Use an incentive / pressure State your expectation  by making clear what your  need ,  demand , or  requirement  is. Evaluate by giving  a  positive  or  negative  judgement , a w

Have you ever wondered how some people just seem to have a knack of being able to persuade you to do something? (like stay for  just  one more drink!!!)…   If you want to either learn how to influence and persuade people or maybe to just be more aware of people trying to influence you, then keep reading as there are 4 styles you need to be aware of. I've split this blog into 4 parts so that I can keep to my usual short and hopefully sweet style!  This is part two, with the next two to follow… Bridging This type of influencing is called  Bridging …  This one is best when you need or value the other person's contribution. You're happy to admit to your mistakes and perhaps the other person is upset or resisting and you don't really know why. This one can take a bit longer to resolve as you're asking for the other person's opinion but when you get there they should be fully engaged. This one has three steps Involve Listen Disclose

The My posts so far have concentrated on Coaching so I thought it was about time I did one on Cocktails! So here are my top 10 cocktails and why… (also pretty much turned into my top 10 holidays too!!) 10  June bug  One of the first cocktails I ever tried at TGI Fridays many, many years ago… 9 Chilli Martini At Dirty Martinis in Covent Garden... A bit of a random one but a great little bar so had to include!! 8  Managers Happy hour (ie free) Rum Punch  With my husband on honeymoon in Thailand. 7  Porn star Martini Discovered this doing a cocktail making class at my friend's hen do in Zabranos, Soho - lovely cocktail... 6  Piña collada con on poco de ron (with a little rum)  Visiting my best friend in the Dominican Republic, as it's only a little rum, anytime after midday is acceptable!! 5 Oreo Milkshake I can't remember the name of this one, where I was or when I had it but it consisted of vanilla ice cream, Oreo cookies, Crème de Me

I've heard a lot of good tips about how to tell a story like; Have a wow moment - ie have a part of the story which everyone will remember Make sure there's structure; - Like a beginning, middle and end Or - Set the scene, identify a problem and have an ask Make it personal - relate to the audience  Keep it simple And just keep it short and concise But the best tip I've heard recently about storytelling is to really think about what you want people to think , feel or do ? Whether you're doing a presentation, asking your boss for something or sending out a weekly report…. On the back of the interaction, what do you want people to think , feel or do ? Sometimes at work you have to present on a regular basis to give an update. But how much better does it feel if you go into the room with the aim to make people think , feel or do something? Whether that's to make people think you've got it all under control, to make them feel c

What's the benefit of actually getting stressed and how can you try and stop yourself from feeling stressed?   It's true that a bit of adrenaline can get your body pumped up and ready to go…  But too much and it stops rational messages getting to your brain.   Did you know that it takes on average 2 hours for adrenalin to leave you bloodstream , so if you end up getting too stressed or angry, then it's really hard to just 'snap out of it', so the key is to stop yourself from getting too stressed in the first place…   People often say to me that I never seem to get stressed and they think I'm always happy.   I work full time and have two young children, so of course I'm not the picture of calm all the time! But the thing I try to stop and think is, what benefit is there from getting stressed, angry or shouting, and remembering just how more productive or persuasive (when it comes to parenthood!) I am when I'm calm.   If I get too stre

So if you've read my blog entitled Happy New Year , then you could be well on your way to getting that  next role or promotion. Fingers crossed you've got the perfect storm where you're now being offered 2 fantastic roles from which you need to choose your next step. I wanted to write this blog to help you decide when opportunities arise for you, what questions you can ask yourself to decide what you want… Pros and cons I've now 'gone digital' and thrown away my notepad but there's nothing quite like putting pen to paper and writing down the pros and cons for the options you face. Be clear on you values What are the few things that are really important to you in any role you take? Does it tick all the boxes? It's worth reading Life is a Succession of Memories  if you're unsure. Take time Don't feel pressured into making a decisions, the implications could be massive so ensure you have enough time to think it through properl

If you want someone to agree with you, start with the Why … So often we ask for things by starting with what we want , rather than why we want it … 'I want you to get ready for your swimming lesson' rather than 'I think you'll be good enough to swim by yourself with your friends this summer holiday' Or 'I want funding for a project' rather than 'I believe we can create a better experience for our customers'…. 'Oh, and I need some money to fund it!' People don't buy what you do, they buy why you do it… This week I learnt about Simon Sinek's Golden circle… The theory is that you need to start with Why , then How and finally What , whereas so many of us start with What, then How and actually often forget about Why… So what do we mean by starting with the Why? It's all about the Purpose , your Beliefs , what Drives you. Why are you having a 4 hours meeting? Why do you need extra res