Cocktails and Coaching

Have you ever wondered how some people just seem to have a knack of being able to persuade you to do something? (like stay for just one more drink!!!)…   If you want to either learn how to influence and persuade people or maybe to just be more aware of people trying to influence you, then keep reading as there are 4 styles you need to be aware of. I've split this blog into 4 parts so that I can keep to my usual short and hopefully sweet style!  This is part one with the next three to follow.. In each part I'll share the style and then bring it to life for you… I've given the same example for each one to show that you really can use any of the 4 styles depending on who you're trying to influence… I've used an example that I'm faced with day in, day out in my job but you really can spin it for absolutely anything. Persuading This type of influencing is called persuading …  This is a good one to use when you are seen as the expert and you have...

Are you the type of person who gets on a plane and keeps your head down? Or are you the type of person who strikes up a conversation with the person sat next to you? For those who know me, you'll know that I'm definitely the kind to strike up a conversation! And I'm glad to say I did this just a few weeks ago. Picture this - I'm sat there reading my 'TED talks' book (which I highly recommend by Chris Anderson) and the person sat next to me asks me if I'm doing a talk? 'Yes' I say, 'I'm talking to 60 people at a Women In Tech Sales event next week' to which her response was 'Amazing… I'm a professional speaker'! Now, there was no way I could pass up this opportunity so I asked her for all her top tips and was soon sat there scribbling them all down in my book. Imagine how happy I was when a week later I did my presentation, having weaved in ALL of her top tips, and received some fantastic feedback. So let m...

If you want to know how to build a strong team then you could go on a course for a few days, you could read a 300 page book or… You could just take the advice from my eight-year-old daughter! The other morning I told her that I had a team meeting and I was thinking about what to do in it. ‘ What do you want to get from the meeting? ’ she said (just the question alone surprised me if I’m honest, bearing in mind she’s 8!) ‘ I want my team to figure out how they can work really well together ’ I said. Her instant response was ‘ Communicate more! ’ So I told her ‘ I also want everybody to say what a great job my team is doing ’ her response… ‘ Believe in yourselves ’ At that point I thought I’d pass her a pen and paper and ask her to write down her top tips… She thought 5 points would be good so here they are! 1. Communicate more 2. Believe in yourselves 3. Share your worries 4. Tell someone when you need help 5. Decide together I’m obviously bias but I think that’s prett...

Do you ever find yourself getting frustrated with what's going on around you? Perhaps there are some big changes happening at work, or maybe there are things that you're not happy about at home. I often talk to people about the fact that you can't change or control what other people do, you can only change and control your own actions but this takes it one step further. It's called your circle of influence. Think of something you're not happy about and want to focus on. Then draw a large circle and inside that circle draw another smaller circle in the middle. The inner circle represents your circle of influence - in here, write down all the things that are frustrating you about the situation that you can influence. Then, put all the things that are frustrating you that you can't influence in the outer circle, in other words, they're outside your circle of influence . You can then see really clearly what you can and can't co...

People often point out that I don't seem to get stressed. And it's true… it could be due to the fact that I'm a very positive person or that it's just in my nature to stay calm, however I'm currently reading the book ' The Chimp Paradox ' and I now believe I don't get stressed because I'm happy making decisions. One of the items in the book is about the natural instinct that we all have, which is; when we are faced with an uncomfortable situation or decision we either Fight , Flight or Freeze . For example, if we're asked to do something that stretches us out of our comfort zone (see my blog Oh Pants! ) a lot of people will say no which is the ' flight '. Or you disagree with what someone is saying and you end up having an argument with them which is the ' fight '. Or you're put on the spot and you completely forget what you wanted to say which is the ' freeze '. So, I've heard of fight, flight or freeze like m...

It's been years since I drank a Woo Woo but I have to say it's an old favourite of mine! It's a cocktail made simply of vodka, peach schnapps and cranberry juice (I personally recommend adding a squeeze of fresh lime too). I think it's a pretty well known cocktail in the UK, however my US colleagues gave me some pretty strange looks when I started talking about woo woos recently so perhaps it's not a universal cocktail (or maybe they just think I'm just a strange (but brilliant) brit!!)- but I'd recommend you try it wherever you live!.... This week I did a 'Strenghts Finder' exercise and one of my own personal strenghts is 'Woo'.... The definition being ' loves the challenge of meeting new people and winning them over. Derives satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection with someone .' And it's true - I love networking, meeting new people, building relationships and 'winning people over'. So for anyone ...

Have you ever asked someone a question and as soon as you've asked it, you're thinking of a follow up question? Or you start thinking about your own experiences of what they're talking about? Or worse still you start judging them?!.... Take a look at my blog#nojudging …. If you're human! You'll have answered yes to at least one of the above, if not all of them - and this is absolutely normal. But. Are you having a valuable conversation and both getting the most out of it? I've heard of active listening before but I was recently on a course where I had to really do it, and trust me, it was exhausting! The key with active listening is to: Properly listen! Switch off your inner voice Just be in the moment of the conversation Don't let yourself get distracted Truly  listen to what the other person is saying Listen to the phrases they're using And tune into how they're felling when they talk. It's har...